I’m James Bond played by Daniel Craig. My mission is to steal a new Russian military aeroplane (like Clint Eastwood in Firefox). I pinch the plane and I’m flying home but something goes wrong and I have to land, still in Russian territory.

The Russian baddies catch me and take me back to their secure prison for interrogation. They’re not trying to get information out of me, they’re just mad with me for trying to steal the plane.

Then I’m escaping and I’ve got a special Bond car and I’m George Lazenby, Roger Moore and Timothy Dalton. I’m loving it, outrunning the baddies in my car.

Except I’m not. The Russians have given me Sodium Pentathol (truth serum) and fed me the fantasy that it is still my glory days. Which makes the pain of incarceration so much worse.

Then I’m escaping again. I’ve got a handgun and I’m hiding out in grey Russian townscapes, anxious but confident I’m on my way home.

That’s as much as I remember of the dream. It seemed to last ages and it felt like it deprived me of sleep early Monday morning. I’ve only seen one Daniel Craig Bond film (Casino Royale) so I immediatly checked Wikipedia to see if any recent Bond films had a similar theme that I might have picked up subconsciously, but couldn’t find anything about Bond being given a drug to induce a vision of the more fantastic Bond stories of yesteryear.

Of course, the plot is similar to Alan Moore’s Marvelman where the daft old stories from the 50s turn out to be drug induced fantasies created by an evil genius to keep our hero subdued.

My final thought — in the later part of the dream where I have escaped, I’m not really clear how I managed to get out of the actual prison. Maybe that was a dream as well …

Etta James RIP

I can’t claim to be a big fan or anything but I was surprised that the BBC seemed to focus on just one song when reporting her death. What about Diet Coke ?

I love comics and I love London and I loved my brief time working in a comic shop in London all those years ago, so my new favourite blog is:

http://londonlovescomics.blogspot.com/

Shame it hasn’t been updated for a while (like I can talk).

This used to be my playground …

http://londonlovescomics.blogspot.com/2007/06/west-end-comic-shops-living-and-dead.html

The Roll Off Characteristics (Of History In The Making) by Cornershop

Winners will never be losers and losers will never win.

I can’t agree with that sentiment — Sheffield Wednesday just knocked West Ham out of the Cup on Sunday.

In 1974, in his State address to Congress, Gurkhal Surjan, Patwallia District, stated that the world will be tested by Texas Instruments and English diction.

And no, I don’t know who Gurkhal Surjan is.

Second choice:

George Square Thatcher Death Party by Mogwai

Last month saw a nation mourn the loss of its beloved leader. He told his people they lived in the best country in the world and they loved him for it, even though it was obvious to the rest of us that things in North Korea weren’t that great.

And in October Steve Jobs died. He told Apple fans that it was worth paying three times more for their computers because they were the best designed in the world and they loved him for it, even though etc. etc. you get the idea.

Another year over and a new one just begun. And with me between contracts perhaps a chance to make some genuine changes. So, those resolutions for 2012:

• get some exercise
• live in the moment, enjoy the kids and appreciate Jan
• meditate. Desire lies at the root of suffering. Seriously, thinking about stuff I want and how my life could be better if only I was a bit smarter is in danger of driving me crazy
• watch less TV. Its not the only way to chill out
• get creative. Write scripts and stories, play the ukelele,  draw comics, cook
• express an opinion. I’m out of the habit of speaking to people …
• … and listen. Take a bit more notice of what other people say

Not too different from last year really …

As usual on the first Saturday of the year I bought the Scotsman for the free Letts diary.

Each double page has a week’s view on the left and space for notes on the right. At the end there is a forward planner, a double page spread with each date in 2013.

But then, … nothing. Uh oh, by this logic it looks like 31st December 2013 will be the end of the world.

(Apologies, loyal readers, for linking to a dumb site just for the sake of humour)

Now there’s a lineup …

Clarkson got in trouble this week for a joke about the Public Sector Pensions Strike (which I completely support). The joke as reported was in pretty poor taste and not at all funny, but actually in context it did make me laugh.

I don’t think he should be prosecuted for this, but perhaps he should reconsider his relationship with the BBC like Jonathon Ross had to a couple of years ago. When you have the comfort of a big, lucrative BBC contract its easy to overestimate your own importance and forget the audience you are playing too.

I wouldn’t want our comedians’ freedoms limited to the extent that Stewart Lee couldn’t tell this joke:

The Libyans, when they didn’t like their leader, they dragged him out of a sewer pipe, shot him in the face, and put him in a meat fridge. Nobody told them to, they just went ahead and did it. That’s the big society in action, David Cameron.

(Thanks Zoe Williams in the Guardian for that one), but I’m guessing he won’t be telling it on the One Show any time soon.

And I still don’t know if I like Frankie Boyle, but I thought he gave a very good account of himself in this Guardian profile.

the first Jarvis album, the first LCD Soundsystem album, Bad Brains, 2007 Simpsons on Channel 4, Life’s Too Short, Mad Men Season 2, How the Dead Live and the Greatest Batman Stories Ever Told

Ken Russell

Gary Speed

Andrea True